SEOUL: In the end, Kim Kum-sun and the North Korean brother she last saw in 1951 were given just 12 hours to try and soothe the accumulated pain of nearly 65 years of separation.

As impossible for them as it was for the hundred or so other families who wrapped up a three-day inter-Korean reunion on Thursday, the situation underlines the emotional price exacted for the rare opportunity to participate in such events.

Given that there are more than 65,000 South Koreans currently on the waiting list for a reunion spot, those selected represent a very fortunate minority.

But the reality of the highly-controlled, tightly time-restricted meetings means that many come away with their expectations shattered.

“Of course it was wonderful just to see my elder brother again,” said Kim, 78. “But it was so short; unbearably short really. And now I just feel enormous sorrow at the idea that I’ll probably never see him again,” she told AFP after returning home to Seoul.

The “three-day” tag attached to the reunion is misleading. In reality, that boils down to six, two-hour sessions — only one of which allows the separated relatives to sit down face-to-face in private.

“It’s absurd” said Kim’s daughter Nam Jeong-Bun, who accompanied her to the reunion held in a mountain resort in North Korea.

“The families need much longer to even begin a meaningful conversation, and they should be allowed to share a room at night,” she said.

“The time limits make the final farewell very, very difficult. You barely have time to meet and then it’s all over,” she added. The reunion program began in earnest after a historic North-South summit in 2000, and was initially an annual event.

But strained cross-border relations meant that this week’s gathering was only the second in five years.

Pyongyang has long manipulated the reunion issue as a tool for extracting concessions from Seoul, and sees its agreement to hold the meetings as an act of diplomatic largesse that merits reward.

From the very first reunion, South Korea has pushed for extended, more frequent gatherings.