You are a young executive and the chairman of your company is visiting your branch and at a dinner for him, he suddenly turns to you and asks you to put his dirty plate away, just like that. What would you do? Hesitate? Do it? Refuse, saying it is not becoming? 

That is one of the questions asked of senior executives undergoing administrative training. There are no real or accurate answers. Circumstances, the relationship between you and the boss, the occasion, all make' a difference. However, you could find yourself in an untenable position where you refuse to do something. Like carrying a senior's briefcase. it merely courtesy or are you being a sycophant? Most such scenarios do focus on your executive aura. Some people lend themselves to being taken for granted. If you act like a gopher, you will "go for" this and that.

Whereas there are some who send out a warning signal that they are not available for a certain level of imposition, whatever the consequences. The point there is that it must be a natural signal, otherwise self-conscious belligerence can be counter-productive. You get a call on a holiday from the boss who says he wants you to come on over to discuss the new plans.

Now, bosses hate holidays since that is the one day they lose their power and are reduced to only husband and father status. So they need to exercise authority and what better way than summoning one's minions for a chinwag? Except that this minion, that is you, has three children and a wife ready to go to the beach. Now, you know it is not an emergency, there is no crisis, just the boss being bossy, so would you have the confidence to beg off saying you are busy?

Would you be scared to say it? Rather incur the wrath of the family? Be afraid of losing your favored status, even your job? Are you that insecure? Let's take a simpler example. Your boss calls to say he wants you to take his family out to the circus, alright goodbye. And he puts the phone down. Don't say it does not happen. It does. Here you are with your MBA degree and your Brookes Brother imitation blackstripe, holding the receiver feeling a right clown and he's rung off. What would you do to wriggle out of it? More importantly, would you want to wriggle out of it? There are careers that have been made on using such impositions to great advantage. If you are the sort who sees nothing wrong in being of help, go ahead and do it. There are no rights and wrongs, just limits.

Like the ADC to a governor who was asked by the wife of the State Executive to pick up her saris on the way back from town. He refused. She was put out. He said it would not be right for an officer to run errands for saris. She reported his insubordination to the governor. The governor took the ADC's side and went home to a cold dinner. What if he hadn't? What if he had upbraided the officer? What if you are being upbraided and the superior's language deteriorates into the foul-mouthed? You say you won't take it, and you probably mean it, but when will you decide it has gone too far? What's the break point of abuse? How would you protest and what level of risk would you take to log that protest? Again, each to his own and no prizes for a right answer since there isn't one.

So then what is the point of such scenarios? Responses can tell a lot about personality. About leadership. Even crisis response. Take someone who is so self-conscious that he will not relieve a much senior col-league of a bag as they come off an aircraft. That's not sycophancy, that is merely good manners. A person so aware of his position must be a bad leader. You don't become a servant by being courteous.

By the same token, someone who is constantly volunteering to pick and carry may get promoted but he would not be able to lead anyone out of a paper bag. The key words are self-esteem and grace. Sometimes it is easier to carry out the instruction, however distasteful you find it and later let it be known that you won't do it a second time.

You can't be at war all the time.

Nor can you lie down and be a mat. Else people will walk all over you.