We do not really see what is out there, we only see what we want to see, we selectively process what we want to perceive, we program our lives, tune our emotions, to the frequency we want to catch. In general, that is normal. We are different no matter how we thought we are the same. What is not normal is when we think that what is different is anomalous, unnatural and untrue that it needs to be fixed to be like us, like the way we want to see and do things.
These thoughts came to me while I was watching a former Saudi official talking about one of our cities. With his overexcitement about the city and the unequivocal persistence that its rising small neighbor is nothing, a shell without a soul, a sand castle waiting for the next wave to wipe it out, you cannot help but to wonder, is he really seeing what we are all seeing, or I would assume, most of us at least do?
The reality is, this guy is not alone. We all have such kinds of prejudice and strong beliefs toward certain things. It is happening in our personal lives the same way it is happening in our professional transactions. We grow up with certain views about ourselves and about the world we live in. A lot of us tend to get attached to these views, believing that they are the truth, the unique, unchallenged facts of life.
Let us take an example: Women. Because some of us have grown up believing that women are delicate and should be guarded around the hour, protected behind walls and doors, he or she cannot relate to or understand discussions about allowing women to work, or allowing them to drive. Such discussions encompass weird concepts that are strange to his or her world; to the angle where he or she believes is the only angle to look into the universe. And of course, that is also applicable to the other extreme, those who lived in an open society with no walls or red lines; they cannot seem to understand the concept of a woman deciding to cover her hair in public based on a personal belief.
Let us take a professional example; those who worked under a system for so long, cannot have the courage to challenge it no matter how obsolete it becomes. The rhythm of bureaucracy becomes the only music they could hear and dance to. They cannot think creatively, they cannot think out of the box, they actually love the box so much that they want to replace it or go out of it.
Blindness to differences is the common ground where such problems stand on and grow. The narrow angle where we see the world through becomes the only scale we can use to weight and judge matters.
The harsh reality is, a society cannot grow healthy and productive, unless it is open to differences, or better yet, appreciating differences. Look around you, from the ideology-based struggles, to rumors and personal attacks on social media sites, to political or religion-related turmoil, at the heart of them all, there is a prejudice stemmed out of differences.
Naturally, based on our own upbringing values and beliefs, we take matters at face value. Few are those who think beyond what had always been presented to them. Psychologists call this “the power of framing.” When we get use to a certain frame of mind, of same explanations and concepts, of sanctified customs and traditions, it is hard to break loose. The society where the most are submitting to the same frame of mind is a society imprisoned to history and default.
The way out is to encourage critical thinking and to respect differences. The new world is communication-based, groups of different backgrounds and beliefs are interacting and working together to take the humanity forward, if you are not ready to join them, to work with them, and at the same time, respecting their differences, you better fall behind, waving goodbyes to the advancing convoys toward the future.
