The strong traditional family values in a society such as ours are meant, at least in part, to keep our women and children safe from harassment, exploitation and assault that they would encounter in some other societies.
That is a value that I think most of us would agree upon; so how is it, then, that women and girls are harassed and victimized to an alarming degree, despite the protection seemingly offered them by the veil and by our traditional institutions? The reports are clear and very disturbing. There are those who will prey upon girls and women, the younger and more seemingly defenseless, the better, in their minds. I wonder why the number of such incidents has increased? It may be that the silence over these issues is being broken and previously taboo subjects are now talked about and reported more. Or it may be that social changes are putting women increasingly at risk. It hardly matters. The important thing is that we know it is happening, and that we respond accordingly, on multiple fronts.
One of these fronts is legislative. We need to have strong, consistent penalties in place for the harassment of women, and even stronger ones for harassment or harm to underage girls. The certainty of punishment can be a powerful deterrent. As well, and almost as importantly, it sends a message to women that society cares about their wellbeing and protection, that it will not favor the perpetrators of violence against them but will punish them severely for their criminal actions. However, as women around the world will attest to, it is not enough to simply have laws in place. They must also be accompanied by a legal system that is congenial and sympathetic to women. There is nothing more heartbreaking then hearing a woman complaining that her treatment by the judicial system when reporting a sexual assault was almost as traumatizing as the assault itself. And yet that is what happens, all over the world. Women are made to feel as though they, rather than their assailant, are “on trial,” and like their virtue is in questions and like they must have done something to provoke the attack. That is a fallacy. Regardless of a woman’s clothing or behavior, assaulting her is a crime and the fault of the criminal. As a society, we all need to gain clarity about that, if things are to change.
At the same time, both males and females need to be educated about issues like respect, protection and boundaries. Women today are out in the world, attending schools and working. They must be given the basic tools with which to protect themselves — including keen observation of their surroundings, methods of using their voices and words to create boundaries and finally, at least the rudiments of self-defense techniques. Personally, I would like to see these skills taught to all girls in school. They need to know that they are powerful and can protect themselves should the need arise. At the same time, boys and men must be taught respectful attitudes toward women. Of course, boys and men are not invulnerable to harassment and assault, so they must also learn positive, healthy mental and physical boundaries and have the means to protect themselves too.
Harassment and assault of women is not just a “women’s problem; ” it is a symptom of a troubled society and it affects us all. Now is the perfect time for antiquated and harmful attitudes to begin to change.
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