The last person to be given a sartorial dressing down was an emperor and he had no clothes at all. But you can play hell into the word by messing about with it. It’s a long suit. Suit yourself. A suitable PM. We are putting a suit against you. My suit is stronger than your suit, if you are Bridge fan. You can follow suit if you want. He is such a stuffed shirt he has to be a suit. Do you think it suits the occasion to joke about it. Why not, especially if humor is my strong suit. See, you can so easily get carried away.
The inside story is that the PM did not know he was wearing a suit with his name creating the stripes. In Gujarat it is common to give suit pieces or suit lengths as they are so warmly called as gifts, tokens of affection and one each to all the groom’s friends if you are from the girl’s side. Ergo being asked: Did you get a ‘soot’ is normal practice.
Now Mr. Modi, with his busy schedule, is not inclined to look into the stripes (or earn them) on all the coats in his wardrobe. Do you rise and shine in the morning and examine your suits to see if your name is on them. What if your name is Bhola ‘Bittu’ Bakhshi Bhojnath Kapoor, also fondly known as Titu or Podilla varaha Venkata narasimha arunachala raja chandran then you would also have to be very tall or you’d run out of fabric. Which would also mean you are living beyond your means because you are not cutting your coat (or the whole flipping suit) according to your cloth.
I believe it was a ‘thoughtful’ gift and he didn’t have his specs with him to read the writing on the arm when he received it and it got made into a suit and he wore it. Period. I think you should spare a thought for the guy who gave the gift. I can’t imagine him being invited for dinner for a long time…that’s one sleeve of care which has unraveled. Contract canceled.
So, armed with all this knowledge and warmth in my heart and empathy in my soul I call my friend who is a BJP stalwart and I say, so you think that was suit-able, I mean don’t you think it kind of beat Narcissus at his own game?
Who’s Narcissus, I have not been introduced to him, must be one of those Congress troublemakers, is he a security risk?
Actually, I say, it’s unlikely you will meet him, he was the Greek god of beauty and spent a lot of time staring into the river and admiring his reflection that’s why some people are comparing Namo to him. Ha, he said, cruel conspiracies again, Modiji does not look into rivers, he has better things to do. Like wearing a bespoke suit made on Savile Row, so much for Make in India. That is good, he says, it shows we are an open market and everyone is welcome to open shop here even Savile Row, it is all these media vultures whining about small things.
That’s bad, I say.
No, actually, it is quite good because it shows how petty they are and cannot see the bigger picture.
True I say, they are myopic, right?
Not really, they have to sell so they exaggerate, but the people are not stupid.
That’s good, I said, people are smart, they don’t wear suits anyway, right, so who cares, Namo can put his signature anywhere.
No, no, you miss the point, that’s bad, because the public can be misled in their innocence.
That’s terrible, I say, like they have to choose between three scruffy scarves on the Aam Aaadmi guy and a suit with a name repeated on it and you think that is platform for being misled.
Are you making a joke?
Perish the thought, I say, this is a very serious matter.
No, it is not, we should all get suits with our names on them and then it would be a trend, a fashion and we could even consider it as a mobile Aaadhar card.
That’s a thought, I say, save so much hassle, just go out and show our suits and vote.
Not really, what if you outgrow your suit.
True, I say somberly, you have a point.
I always have a point, that’s why I am a politician, and in any case, this is a Congress legacy and they started it so how come no one complained then.
What, putting your name on a suit?
Yes, he thunders, who started the Nehru jacket craze, huh, who, tell me, tell me?
I am still thinking of a suitable answer.
