You know of many things that are dead or dying. Like honor. And promise. Not to forget fairness and all those other silly little things that made life tolerable. Now, it is all about winning and clambering on top of the social pinnacle and being someone and if it requires deceit and conceit, so what a small price to pay.
As some of us go up the ladder of the social pyramid we tend to lose not only ourselves but our manners. Naturally, wealth and power attract hangers on and the more people who gravitate around you the more important you believe you are. After a while this constant attention and adulation (even if it is faked) convinces you that you are someone special and deserving of the praise lavished upon you. ‘You begin to have opinion. You become intolerant. You look at those under you as mere minions, only there to do your bidding.
That is when you start to become insufferable. You actually discard old friends, forget where you came from and who you truly are; the trappings of the wealth make you blind to the reality of it all. You actually begin to believe you are anointed. You elect to go the right places, be seen with the right people (whoever that is) and not waste time on the old lot.
And why this heavy stuff. Someone I know who is not very important and doesn’t have a garden or car as big as her heart had a party and invited 55 people. She then spent days calling for confirmations and only received one RSVP. One...the rest all promised to come but never sent it in writing. The day before the party she called twenty odd couples to remind them of her party. Now, it was either the despair that showed through or people have become so cruel and indifferent to mere good manners but still there only these feeble reassurances that they would make it.
Since the meal was catered she was stressed but not so much as by the possibility that there would not be a quorum.
The next morning the regrets began. Have to make it to the airport. Husband’s got a bad cold. Have to travel. So sorry, so sorry so very sorry, have a great evening.
Finally, 16 people showed up. The ones who had actually sent the RSVP now sent flowers to regret their last minute inability to attend. Of the 16, six could not stay for dinner because of other arrangements and left after a quick first round, desperate to get to places that count with people that count.
I was thinking, is it so tough to say,no, thank you, you are not important enough, we cannot come, we’d rather be seen at important people’s parties even they treat us shabbily and we are faceless but at least we were there.
Why leave the hosts hanging in suspense. If you don’t want to come have the bloody good manners to say so.
Is it so tough?
