I read with pleasure the report that the Supreme Judicial Council issued an order to all the courts to not handle marriage dispute issues that have to do with the genealogy of the partners involved. This is good news because for too long some segments of Saudi society have used a person’s origins to discriminate against them and to therefore interfere in the lives of couples who want to get married or who are already married.
How many times have we heard people say “that man is too poor to marry that woman,” or “they’re not from the same tribe, how can they get married?” These discriminatory attitudes may have been accepted begrudgingly in the past, but we all know that this is not the true essence of Islam, where all Muslims are equal no matter their tribe, economic station or position of power.
And what to say of mixed marriages, when one partner is Saudi and the other is a foreigner? There has long been a dislike of these types of marriages, but more and more we are seeing Saudis, both men and women, marrying foreigners. This has only served to diversify our gene pool and brought other cultures closer to enrich our own. I should know since my mother is American and my father was Saudi. When my parents got married in the 1950s I’m sure there was consternation among some in the United States that my mother was marrying an Arab and a Muslim. Likewise, in Saudi Arabia, I’m sure many of my father’s family did not like the idea of my dad marrying a non-Arab. But here we are more than 50 years later and the idea of inter-marriage is no longer a strange thing, and indeed is even sometimes encouraged especially with the problem of high dowries that many young Saudi men cannot afford to pay.
The government has taken the wise step to not allow the petty and narrow-minded grievances of certain Saudis see their day in court. In short, our judicial authorities have said “deal with it, we are not going to get involved!”
It is a refreshing development in a world where governments around the globe are infringing more and more in the personal life decisions of their citizens. As long as the marriages in the Kingdom follow the rules of Shariah, there is no reason why families, let alone the government, should interfere and prohibit the unions.
The ongoing debate in the Shoura Council to give more rights to the foreign spouses of Saudi citizens is a welcome development. Especially when Saudi women married to foreigners still cannot pass on their nationality to their children, which deprives the children of a myriad of benefits that they would have available to them if they were Saudi citizens. For example, the children of Saudi woman married to a foreigner need Iqamas to enter/exit and live in the Kingdom; are generally not allowed to study in public Saudi schools, and cannot get housing loans from the government and other such privileges.
While it may be true sometimes that marriages between people of different social classes will face problems, likewise marriages of people from the same social class also have problems and end up in divorce. And that really is what we should be worried about: The extremely high divorce rate in the Kingdom.
While Islam has been progressive long before Christianity in allowing divorce, unfortunately in today’s society divorce seems to be used too quickly whenever couples run into their first problems. For men it has always been much easier to get remarried, or indeed stay single, than for women. Divorced women in our society still carry the stigma of being “used goods”, something most men keep away from with a ten-foot pole. And many single women view marriage as a way of escaping from the control of their fathers. That seems to be why so many single and divorced women agree to be a man’s second or third wife, as economically and socially they find that being married is much better than remaining single.
There have been so many reports of healthy marriages being torn apart because the husband and wife were from different tribes and their families could not accept their union. When these relationships are torn apart because of antiquated discriminatory practices, it breaks one’s heart to see this happening. It was high time that our judicial authorities spoke out against these practices. Of course, families can continue discriminating and tearing couples apart, but at least they will no longer be able to use the judicial rulings of some judges to bolster their hatred and what is ultimately un-Islamic behavior.
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Rasheed Abou-Alsamh is a Saudi journalist based in Brazil.
