After a usual hectic day I was on my way back home by tram. I was completely occupied with the thoughts of usual student-mom rituals like how to meet deadlines, what to cook for dinner, who is going to iron school uniforms etc. I just felt like getting off the tram and escape somewhere I could find some peace away from the entire hubbub. As usual I did not respond to the temptation and just got off the tram. As I was heading toward my house, I heard a faint voice calling for help. I looked around and did not see anything. I continued moving but again I heard the voice. It also attracted the attention of other passers-by. I and four other women looked in the direction from where the voice was emanating and realized it was coming from the bushes near the parking lot. We went there and found a very old one-legged man lying in the bushes. Apparently, his scooter had skidded and overturned. Somehow he managed to move and sit. In his struggle to get up again, he was continuously trying to convince us that he only needed someone to help him back on his scooter and he would manage to go home all by himself.
He was obviously injured, his face was bleeding as he had fallen down on his face but he insisted that he was OK and there was no need for calling an ambulance. According to him, it would be a waste of resources. He said he was fine and could go back home, when he was lifted up to his scooter he felt relieved and started laughing. However, his happiness was short-lived as he discovered that the scooter was not working, again he insisted on not calling any help as he can call the emergency services for his scooter. During all this, his heart warming sense of humor was filling the atmosphere in addition to the fact that he seemed to be in control of everything despite his fragile state. At the end, one of the ladies did not listen to him and just called for an ambulance as they could provide him with professional services and could attend to the injury on his face. I then left and continued my journey but my mind did not stop working.
I was torn between admiring the old man’s attitude and independence and felt equally sad that he appeared so alone. In the UK, it’s very normal to see very old people living independently. You see them shopping and using public transport and they also live alone depending on their health. I just looked at the situation in our own culture, we tend to restrict the movement of the elderly as a matter or respect, if an old man wants a cup of water, it’s just very rude to let him go and get it himself, you need to offer to get it to him, and usually we tend to encourage them to rest (no no don’t walk just stay and I will get the stuff to you), and at the end this restriction on movement (though out of respect) affects their health. I really admire and respect our culture that encourages family bonds and the idea of caring about the elderly, but there should be a line between respecting the elderly people and making them totally dependent on others. Needless to say, my heart was broken that the old man did not call a son, a daughter or any immediate relative to tell him/her that he was in trouble, and at the same time I admired his independence and positive attitude. How can we create a system that encourages a healthy lifestyle for the elderly people and at the same time keep the bonds and feelings of respect intact?
This might need another Ph.D.
@ HatoonKadi
