A new survey conducted by the King Abdulaziz Center for National Dialogue recently discovered the obvious: 80 percent of the Saudis surveyed said that it’s women’s fault when they are sexually harassed because they are “flirtatious.”
It’s not necessary to whine about blaming the victim for suffering sexual harassment because the respondents — most of them male, to be sure — have no idea how to interact with a non-relative female.
We live in a society of strict rules. These rules are necessary for the stability of our society. We certainly don’t want to face the myriad moral and ethical trouble men and women face in other countries. I had a nephew who returned recently from abroad and he told me of ending a relationship with someone because it would compromise his religious principles. For him and most Saudis, our moral compass helps guide us along the right path.
Yet we can’t deny that following those rules to the extreme has unintended consequences. If gender mixing is banned in all segments of our daily lives except inside the home, then we are doomed to suffer a wide communication gap between the sexes. Men will become more assertive in their authority and women will become more resistant to that authority because their voice is not heard.
If young men and women have no experience in communicating with each other during the normal course of business or casual conversation, then how can they interpret any conversation on a mature level.
Young Saudi guys, and honestly more than a few older men who should know better, have no idea what to make of a confident and frank woman who responds to their inappropriate remarks in public places. The answer among many people is the woman deserves rebuke for speaking up, and even encourages poor behavior among men.
But the old rules of keeping unmarried men and women separated are being challenged. It’s a natural result of women receiving better education, exposure to social media and virtually full access to popular entertainment. Verbal abuse is no longer tolerable. I personally believe that most young Saudi women get it, while many guys are just wishing the girls would keep their mouths shut while at the same time text them their mobile number.
There are a number of young sheikhs who have offered Qur’anic studies to teen boys and girls in a controlled environment. The classes allow boys and girls to discuss the Qur’anic verses in a mature manner at the same time giving them much needed experience in dealing with the opposite sex. Unfortunately, those types of classes are not common or even publicized.
It’s up to the religious academic communities to help young people navigate gender politics if they are going to succeed in maintaining the rules that guide our ethical and moral behavior. Measures of separating men and women in the workplace and public spaces will only encourage sexual harassment and other illegal behavior.
To discourage poor behavior our schools and government must initiate an awareness campaign to not only teach boys and young men how to behave in front of strangers and the opposite sex, but to also give the opportunity to boys and girls to learn how to speak with each other.
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