A child needs to be helped with his (or her) first steps and to be guided towards learning the principles and notions that he will later use to organize his life in the best possible way. But, once he reaches maturity, he must be left free to move according to his own criteria and be allowed to make his own decisions.
On the other hand, there are some individuals who, in spite of having reached adulthood, still continue to lean on somebody else's arm, still choose to seek the help of another. They proceed counting on an ever-present crutch. The reason for this anomalous attitude is double. It might be that someone else tied a metaphorical chain around his neck, preventing him from moving in the direction he would have otherwise chosen. This could be a possessive parent or an extremely authoritative spouse, a plagiarizing mentor or an overbearing so-called best friend. In such case the subdued individual ends up passively accepting that others decide for him. He makes use of someone else's strength instead of his own because, actually, he is unaware of his real capabilities. Someone else convinced him that he cannot “function” by himself and he had believed such enormous lie. We have here the typical example of the “victim type”, a human being who is unable to make his (or her) own voice be heard, who is totally subdued be the strong will of another human being. Or he may simply be a weak or just lazy person who prefers to rely on others for advice or directives rather than make the effort of thinking with his own head. It is certainly easier to follow someone else's tracks than create one's own path, isn't it?
Examining the subject from a different perspective, you may have noticed that there are some people who, instead of relying on someone else’s strength, allow their own energy to be constantly taken away from them. It seems that their destiny, their life task is to listen to the problems of others. Relatives and friends love to inflict their pains upon them, while expecting not so much a piece of useful advice or comforting words, but rather their unending availability and patience. What such selfish individuals need is a confessor who accepts their frustrations to be dumped on him. They are not in search of help, they are not looking for a solution. They only want a “container” into which they have been given permission to throw their negative emotions.
Attention! Here the danger is great. If you find yourself in such predicament (i.e. if you are the faithful friend everyone confides in), the amount and significance of negative feelings that are hurled at you on a regular basis – if you allow it – will slowly fill your mind and your spirit, subtracting positive energy, weakening the structure of the strength and the confidence that are your personal prerogatives. Do not let this happen!
Being available and well disposed is undoubtedly a good, altruistic thing, but only to a certain extent. If you happen to be really living a similar experience, be aware that such a situation must be stopped. It is your duty towards yourself to do it. Do not allow the problems of others to subtly poison your soul. Have you ever paid attention to your mood after listening to your so-called friend's complains, recriminations, criticism, gossip? You most probably feel tired, or bored, or upset, or exhausted, as if a hose had pumped energy out of you. Actually, this is true because it is exactly what happens. An antidote? Try to interact as much as possible only with people who can enrich your spirit, who can increase your own energy with interesting conversations, with uplifting or simply amusing activities. In a nutshell: Do not underestimate the psychological vultures, the energy sucking “vampires”. They can be dreadfully and frighteningly dangerous.
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