My friend has a problem. He is worrying about having nothing to worry about. His boss likes him, his wife and he have no money problems, the kids are doing well and even the houseboy has been coming to work everyday. To cap it all he took his car to the garage and the mechanic said there was no need to open the gear box or take out the engine block or even keep the car till September and he could have it back by lunch. So he drove straight to my place looking very anxious and tense. I said, you look pretty anxious and tense, observation being one of my strong points, what’s wrong.

That’s the problem, he said, nothing.

I said, well lucky you.

That’s just the point, he said, I am driving myself up the wall the past few weeks because I can’t think of anything to worry about, I feel like a terrier whose bone has been taken away, everything is working out, we’re not even fighting with each other.

I said, some people would envy you.

He said, are you crazy, do you know how I feel, empty and useless and he laughed a mirthless laugh. Then he looked me in the eye and said look at you, all comfortable and relaxed, because you have the hassles, right ?

I said, well, the driver’s decided to drop us and our water pipe has burst and the grocery bills haven’t been paid and the TV isn’t working properly and the credit card companies are calling night and day, we’ve lost my ID card somewhere so we’re doing alright.

He said, see what I mean, what I’d give to be in your position, I can’t sleep working myself into a lather, talk about luck dogging you, I even got my shares allotment from the investment broker and I am in line for a promotion.

I said, you should take it easy, you are in bad shape, come to think of it.

He said, it’s the suspense that’s killing, you think it’s the lull before the storm, I have this awful sensation that Fate is lurking around the corner ready to slam into me, do you know how it feels to have nothing to worry about.

I said, not really, no, never had the occasion.

He said, it is like that fellow with the sword over his head, what was his name ?

I said, Damocles.

He said, same fellow, you think he had problems, tell me why can’t I be like everyone else, why does it always work for me ?

I said, maybe you are cursed with too much good luck.

He said, your’re right, that’s it, I can’t even worry about a ringing phone that stops ringing when I pick it up, everyone else can have a great time working out who the call was from, but not me.

I said, why not, it seems a perfectly reasonable thing to worry about.

He said, because when it happens with me the person calls back again immediaately, talk about good fortune, I am going round the bend with it, look at me, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I am hyper and upright and I don’t even getv blood pressure to worry about.

I said, I’m sorry I really can’t help you unless you’d like to borrow some of my problems.

He said, could I, you wouldn’t mind, that’s really nice of you, what a pal.

I said, what you can do is take the telephone numbers of my maintenance company and try to get them to come over and put the water pipe right.

The last I saw him he was happy again, worrying about my problem ... especially since the maintenance people hadn’t bothered to respond.

He called me just now to say he was worried how we’d manage till he sorted it out.

I said, don’t worry ...

And he said, don’t ever say that again.