Isn’t it wonderful how the human race has progressed in its ability to communicate socially with so much substance. I am at this party much like a shabby relative at a rich man’s wedding where people are called Kuki and Dingo and Nooks, and there is finger food and this man walks up to me and wrings my hand and I wring his hand in false bon homie and he says, “So, what’s up, long time no see.”
I say, “Hey yes, long time no see. So he says, “What’s new?” I tell him nothing much, “What’s new with you?” He says “Well, okaaaaay, all good, what else is new?” Seeing as how I haven’t said much for starters asking for more seems pointless so I say, “Well, carrying along, you know how it is.”
He says “You bet I know how it is,” with neither of us knowing what on earth we are gibbering about or why.
“Been busy?” he asks. “A bit,” I say, “and you?”
“Not bad, doing my best, little here, little there...”
We now go into a flurry of what’s up, how’s things, what’s new, what’s cooking.
Then, in a herculean effort to up the level of conversation and take it to alpine heights he says, “So, what other news?”
I say, “No other news, just getting along.”
“So what else is happening?” “Same old, same old.” For some reason, this patter is seen as being packed with hi octane hilarity so we both laugh out loud like it was the wittiest remark ever.
We now segue into a sort of strategic silence break and a little more backslapping and shoulder punching followed by Phase II where we exchange pleasant threats and assurances.
“We must meet, been too long.”
“True, we must.”
“Promise?“
“Absolutely.”
“Ohhh, you are big people, no time for us small people.”
Time to protest, “No, no, no, don’t be silly, of course not, I have your number.”
“Take my new number, only for special friends.” Horror of horrors he pulls out his mobile phone.
Now we go through the tedious process of thumbing each other’s numbers into our flipping iPhones and he says, “Now don’t forget, I’ll be waiting for your call,” as if it is a duel at dawn or something equally dire.
Having exhausted our repertoire of verbal genius, we now grin at each other as the hands are ‘unwrung’ and goodbyes said with guarantees given that we cannot leave it so long and must catch up soon.
“Great talking to you,” he says. I agree with enthusiasm, “yes, lovely chat.”
Along comes another familiar face. “Hi there,” he says, “long time no see, so what’s new, where have you been hiding, so what else is happening...”
Here we go again.
I say, “Hey yes, long time no see. So he says, “What’s new?” I tell him nothing much, “What’s new with you?” He says “Well, okaaaaay, all good, what else is new?” Seeing as how I haven’t said much for starters asking for more seems pointless so I say, “Well, carrying along, you know how it is.”
He says “You bet I know how it is,” with neither of us knowing what on earth we are gibbering about or why.
“Been busy?” he asks. “A bit,” I say, “and you?”
“Not bad, doing my best, little here, little there...”
We now go into a flurry of what’s up, how’s things, what’s new, what’s cooking.
Then, in a herculean effort to up the level of conversation and take it to alpine heights he says, “So, what other news?”
I say, “No other news, just getting along.”
“So what else is happening?” “Same old, same old.” For some reason, this patter is seen as being packed with hi octane hilarity so we both laugh out loud like it was the wittiest remark ever.
We now segue into a sort of strategic silence break and a little more backslapping and shoulder punching followed by Phase II where we exchange pleasant threats and assurances.
“We must meet, been too long.”
“True, we must.”
“Promise?“
“Absolutely.”
“Ohhh, you are big people, no time for us small people.”
Time to protest, “No, no, no, don’t be silly, of course not, I have your number.”
“Take my new number, only for special friends.” Horror of horrors he pulls out his mobile phone.
Now we go through the tedious process of thumbing each other’s numbers into our flipping iPhones and he says, “Now don’t forget, I’ll be waiting for your call,” as if it is a duel at dawn or something equally dire.
Having exhausted our repertoire of verbal genius, we now grin at each other as the hands are ‘unwrung’ and goodbyes said with guarantees given that we cannot leave it so long and must catch up soon.
“Great talking to you,” he says. I agree with enthusiasm, “yes, lovely chat.”
Along comes another familiar face. “Hi there,” he says, “long time no see, so what’s new, where have you been hiding, so what else is happening...”
Here we go again.
