Have you noticed, no seriously, but all second hand cars have had a single owner, never more. You’d think there is some rule about reselling a car. Every ad tells you the car has had only one owner. What sort of chap keeps a car for eleven years in a place like this? No one ever says fifth hand car going for cheap.
Then, you also realize in this ongoing vehicular education that all cars that are sold have low mileage. The point is that all car owners don’t drive their cars, they keep them as decoration pieces in front of the house. Like gnomes in the garden. Can’t be anything else because every car on sale (marvel, marvel) hasn’t averaged more than a paltry couple of kilometers a day. When you see all these cars scurrying about endlessly you really wonder at the credibility gap but there you are, that’s what the ad says. Ten years old and it has done 18000 kms. Obivosuly, the only conlcusino is that the cars on the move in their thousands never get sold.
By that very token all these second hand cars are European driven. Evidently, this factor indicates some sort of innate superiority in driving skill or care and maintenance not reached by those from other parts of the globe
Think of it. Thousands of Indians, Pakistanis, Sri Lankans, Filipinos steering about like crazy, paying for driving lessons, celebrating their obtaining a licence and they never sell cars because I have yet to see one ad that says Indian selling car which he has been loved and cared for, now being let go because he is going home and cannot take his beloved car with him.
So, see how many contenders get left behind, falling on the way like battle weary troops. If you are a man, actually drive the car, don’t live in Europe and are not a single owner you are doomed by your own hand.
Naturally no car in the used car showrooms has ever been in an accident. There is this rule. Once you have had an accident you can’t sell your car, you are out, that’s it, goodbye, hit the road. All those people we see on the road, post collision, waiting for the police and the green and pink slips, they never sell their cars. Not if you go by the ads.
As the competition narrows you now have to ensure your car is “as good as new.” All used cars have to good as new. You can’t be otherwise. Even if the car is six years old and looks like a burnt out slipper it has to be good as new, whatever that means. Either it is new or it is old, it cannot be both and if they were equally good, then new would be redundant.
They never tell you about the sound in the engine that goes “lktjktktktktk” over 120 kph or the tendency the little darling has of swerving on its own to the right or other happy idiosyncracies like overheating or having a weak transmission. These are kept secret.
This is what I want to read:
Eight year old car bought third hand, used extensively by Indian expatriate belonging to the male species, repainted after two accidents, one pink slip and one green, scratches painted over, but she gets you there and you aren’t really paying a princely sum so what do you expect…a Rolls.
I read an ad like that, me I’d go see that car, at least the guy is talking my language.
