Creative Thinking: Parents’ task

A businessman had always expected his son to follow his steps, work in the family company and eventually take over his father’s full responsibilities. The young man complied with his parent’s wishes as much and for as long as he could. But, at a certain point, he realized that his aspirations were different, that he did not want to continue in that kind of work. When he told his father, the latter was greatly distressed. He just did not understand how his own son could desire to be anywhere else, dedicating his energies to something that was not the family business. The young man was sorry to have saddened his elder. In order to explain his feelings, he told him about a duckling who, although he had been born among chicks, once he saw a lake, he simply entered the water and swam away, while mother hen kept calling him back.
Interesting, isn’t it? The nature of human beings is different, either they are related by blood or they are not. Some children are similar to their parents, it is possible that they have the same dreams and goals. But most are different. A parent’s task is not to shape his (or her) child according to his own image. It is not his duty to show him the path he is supposed to take and follow in life. A father (or mother) can only help his son (or daughter) to discover what “his” dreams are and prepare him to carry out his plans and reach his aim. He can do that by providing his offspring with the suitable “equipment” through education, good example, sound advice. That is all.
If your son (or daughter) is a “duckling,” you cannot expect him to stay on dry land forever, to spend his whole life in an environment that does not allow him to freely express his skills. If he is a “bird,” you cannot convince him not to fly. In case you succeed in doing it, either by means of conviction or compulsion, you will make his life miserable. Lebanese-American poet Kahlil Gibran famously wrote that parents are the bow and children are the arrows. Could there be a better self-explaining metaphor?
More often than not are parents selfish. Yes, they are. This kind of selfishness does not derive from wanting to deprive their children of something. On the contrary. They love them so much that their only desire is to keep them near, to provide them with something that is already available — such as a job in the family business or in a successful profession. But any new baby is born with a “personalized” mind that cannot be molded according to his parents’ decisions. Parents usually believe they know what is good for their young. They usually do, I agree on that. But you, as a parent, cannot expect your son or your daughter to do what “you” believe to be the best for them. Once the child has become an adult, he cannot be guided any more and must be given the freedom to choose his own career, spouse, friends, environment etc. I strongly believe that the “main role” for a father or mother is to simply stand by their grown-up children, be available to hear them when they want to talk, to console them when they want to cry but, most of all, a parent’s task is to “support” his or her children in whatever situation they may find themselves in. No one can understand and give love like a parent. If you received such support from your own family, learn the lesson and do the same with yours. If you didn’t, learn the lesson and do the opposite.
There is no greater joy for a parent than to be acknowledged by his or her children as someone who never failed them, who inspired them, who did not criticized them, who was always ready to give them what they needed, when they needed it.