In another article we discussed the need to drop the “mask” that hides your real self. You are now encouraged to open your eyes on another step that needs to be taken. You have to learn to see things as they “really” are and not as you would want them to be or as your mood makes you interpret them. A pertinent example could be parents who justify the wrong behavior of their child because they refuse to admit either that their offspring is less than perfect or that they had been unable to raise the child properly.

Another case could be someone who, fearing to lose a friend, bears his (or her) jealousy, rudeness, sometimes even abuse and keeps finding excuses for him. Such individuals voluntarily cover their eyes with a metaphorical blindfold because they simply don’t want to see the child’s mistakes or their friend’s misbehavior. They are the epitome of the human unwillingness to acknowledge the reality of unpleasant situations in their lives. Remember the ostrich that hides its head under the sand in order not so see danger (thus believing to make it unreal)? Many people do the same.

If you want to start making your existence more serene and fulfilling, you must find the courage to look the truth in the eyes and say: “This is the actual situation,” or “I made a mistake,” or “I need to change that.” No more attempts to hide what exists, to find justifications or excuses for what is not fair, logical, ethic or moral. Some situations can be accepted under certain circumstances, but always being aware of their true meaning.

If — in order to reach a goal — you believe you have to accept a compromise, ask yourself how you feel about it. If you are totally at ease, then go ahead with your plan. Similarly you should also be honest enough to realize and admit it to yourself that, for your personal benefit, you are willing to ignore certain facts. It is your choice and, therefore, you should be ready to face the possible consequences.

A wise quote says that life is easy and it is us who make it complicated. You heard it and probably agree. But do you really believe it? Saying that life is easy means that it should be lived according to two main rules. Which ones? The rule of the “heart” and the rule of the “mind.” The important thing is being able to distinguish when either one is valid according to the circumstance you find yourself in.

If you are involved in a discussion and your mind tells you that it is indispensable for you to prove your point, ask yourself, “Is it worthwhile to allow my pride to make such discussion to possibly degenerate into an argument?” Or… “Wouldn’t it be better to let go, to give up the confrontation?” It is up to you to decide upon the advice you are willing to follow: The one from your heart (keep the peace) or the one from your mind (it is your right to have your opinion taken into consideration).

It should be enough for you to believe that your opinion is valid — although your interlocutor might not agree. The fact that human beings usually feel the need to prove something to another is the problematic factor that creates conflict. As long as you believe that you need someone else’s approval, quite often will you end up behaving in contrast with the “rules.”

This idea can be applied in all circumstances. We repeatedly stressed the fact that thinking before acting is of outmost importance, i.e. thinking about the possible consequences of your words or deeds. This is a way to make life “easy,” that will help you heal a fight with a friend, smooth a contrast with a colleague, diminish the misunderstanding with a dear one.

Life becomes complicated when you put the word “I” in front of everything, i.e. you believe you have the right to judge, to hinder, to ignore etc. Step aside for once and let things go according to the flow. A famous violinist was once asked how he could play so wonderfully. His answer was. “When I hold my violin, I step aside and let the music flow.”

“Let the music flow,” what a wonderful expression. Can you try to make your life “flow,” too?