Creative Thinking: Not for ladies only

Question: My husband complains that I spend too much, that I buy clothes I do not need, that too often do I go to the beauty parlor to have my hair done, that I purchase too many creams, perfumes and makeup items. Why? I don’t think I am wrong if I am fond of wearing designers’ clothes, if I want to have a perfect hairdo, often changing color and style. It makes me feel young and modern. I wander what his reaction will be when I tell him that I am planning to have some minor plastic surgery done.
Answer: There is nothing wrong with your wanting to be beautiful and elegant. The problem arises when you are convinced that clothes and accessories are “indispensable” for you to be happy. Why have you started believing this? Since you first began paying attention to, being interested in, and then conditioned by the many pictures that are endlessly been shoved under your eyes by the innumerable advertising campaigns on TV, magazines, the Internet etc. Their only aim is to convince you that you “need to improve” what and who you are by changing your looks, what you wear, what you use. They subtly tell you that you “have to” alter your physical appearance in order to be beautiful, admired and appreciated. They whisper in your ear that you “must” look younger if you want to be successful and admired. But… do you really need all this?
Nowadays it seems that fashions, trends, fads change at the speed of light in all fields. Nothing seems to be permanent, nothing “lasts”! The style of your pants, the color of your hair, the shape of your nose, your cell phone, your computer, your car… You can lose your head, indeed! Don’t you think that the entire idea of this never-ending race toward “change” is utterly ridiculous? You have allowed yourself to be conditioned by external models — the new “heroes” of the contemporary world — because they are presented as “alluring” in a charming way. From here does the totally unreal need to conform spring up. If you cannot “conform” to the latest fashions, if you cannot have or do what your friends have or do, you feel unfulfilled, you see yourself “in lack”.
The moment you realize that all the fashions and ornaments of this world have nothing to do with your true nature, a remarkable amount of your excessively material desires will leave you. You will still be able to enjoy money and the beautiful things it can buy, such as the elegant clothes, apparels and jewelry that you like, but you will “not” depend on them for your fulfillment and serenity.
Also men are often the victims of the virtual image they are brought to imitate or conform to. They, too, buy beauty products and visit the plastic surgeon. They go to the gym with the obsessive desire to acquire bigger muscles and a fitter body. Again, there is nothing wrong in wishing to look better and feel better. The problem arises when such wish becomes an “obsession”. Concepts have no meaning except for the ways in which they affect human beings and their lives.
I don’t think I am too far from truth if I say that, today, it seems that a strange kind of “social pathology” has been created, which compels a great number of people — women and men alike — to buy “compulsively”. It is a sort of consumerism bulimia. Could it be that also you are a victim of such dangerous situation? Just to be sure, you need to check on your behavior in order to never become prey of a dangerous dependence which will greatly harm your psychological balance. These questions might help you.
Exercise: And I?
Am I, too, affected by the current fashion? Am I, too, conditioned by the TV, the reality shows, by the many commercials and ads? If I realize I am, do I still believe I have freedom of choice? To what extent? Can do something about it?

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